Do you like your steak `still mooing’ or do you like it `cremated’? Are you a cheap, non-tipping `stiff’, a hard-to-get-rid-of `camper’, or even worse — a nightmare bar/restaurant customer who’s likely to just `chew-and-screw’? Let’s find out…    


Bev Nap: Small, square paper napkins to set your glass on. Usually white in color.

Blue Hair: Elderly people, in bar slang, who come in during Happy Hour and split the food.

Breastrant: A restaurant/bar with scantily-dressed female wait staff. I guess, Hooters would absolutely qualify.

[bctt tweet=”Bubble Dancer: Restaurant slang for `dishwasher’.”]

Call: An expensive spirit brand, and not the cheap, generic stuff that can be mixed into a `well drink’ (described later on). Grey Goose vodka, for example, would be a `call’, whereas Popov would be added to a `well drink’.

Campers: Hard-to-get-rid-of customers who grab a table and sit there for hours!

[bctt tweet=”Chateau LaPompe: A derisive name for “tap water”. When customers will not order the bottled kind.”]

[bctt tweet=”Chew-&-Screw: Eat at a restaurant and then sneak out without paying the bill.”]

Comp: Freebie or complimentary food/drink.

Corkage: The fee charged to customers who bring their own booze. (In dining establishments that allow it, of course.)

Covers: Number of customers served. For example, a “25-cover restaurant” is an eatery where 25 guests can be seated and served. Or, “We did 30 covers tonight” means the restaurant served 30 people for dinner that night.

Cowboy: `Cowboying’ a dish is when the kitchen seems to be making up for its incompetence by adding `cover-up’ ingredients, like too much butter, cream etc.

[bctt tweet=”Cremate/Kill: To deliberately overcook a dish. Example: “The customer wants his steak cremated.””]

[bctt tweet=”Dead plate: Food that a customer sends back because there is something wrong with it.”]

[bctt tweet=”Dead Soldier: Empty beer bottle in bar slang.”]

Deuce: Table of two.

[bctt tweet=”Don’t Cry Over It: Don’t add salt while cooking the dish.”]

[bctt tweet=”Drop Food: The precise time when the food was served at a customer’s table.”]

86: When the kitchen or the bar has run out of something, and the item must be removed from the menu. Sometimes, chefs have an 86 board, which is a chalkboard on which they write down items that the wait staff should not offer the customers.

Fire It: Start cooking a particular order. Example: “The steak is almost ready, so fire the veggie sides!”

[bctt tweet=”Freddy: A pint of Heineken beer.”]

Ground Control: The customers in a group who stay sober to keep their drinking companions in good order.

[bctt tweet=”Hokey Puck: A well-done hamburger.”]

Move Tits: Basically, running around fast (you get the allusion!) in bar slang. When cooks or the waiters are told to hurry up with an order.

On The Rail: As quickly as possible. Example: “Table 4 wants an order of the peppered fries on the rail!”

Pittsburgh Rare: Meat that’s burnt outside but rare inside.

Redneck or Stiff or Flea: Non-tippers, all of them.

Reggae: A normal order of a dish with no special adjustment requests. Example: “Just a Turkey melt sandwich, no raggae…”

Resos: Number of reservations. Example: “We have 42 resos on the books for dinner tonight.”

Same-Siders: Romantic couples who sit on the same side of the table, instead of facing each other. 

Typically, these customers linger for a long time over their meal, slowing the table’s turnover rate, and therefore, profit.

[bctt tweet=”Sea Monster: The drunk bar chick, who is determined to take you back home to finish off the night”]

Side-work: Table preparation work like filling the ketchup bottles, rolling silverware in napkins, setting the table etc.

[bctt tweet=”Soldier: A full bottle of beer.”]

Starch: The carb content in a pre-plated meal, such as rice, potatoes, pasta etc.

Still Mooing: Meat that is very, very undercooked or rare. Example: “Table 6 wants the Ribeye still mooing..”

Swag: A special meal prepared by a restaurant kitchen for the wait staff before their shift begins.

The `Man’: The health inspector.

Top: Number of people in a group of diners. For example, a `9 Top’ is a dinner party of 9 customers.

Turn & Burn: Clean-up and re-set a table very quickly during rush hour.

[bctt tweet=”Tron: Bar slang for waiter or waitress.”]

Verbalize: When the waiter rattles off names of dishes, such as the day’s specials, that are not printed in the menu.

Virgins: Customers who have come to your restaurant for the first time.

Well Drinks: Beverages made from cheap, generic spirits and house wine when the brand/quality is not specified.

Wood: The bar.

[bctt tweet=”Wounded Soldier: A beer bottle that has been opened but left half-drunk.”]